Whether in the context of a job interview, managing a conflict, or coaching an employee, knowing how to read someone’s body language is an essential skill. Being able to assess body language can help you to identify disagreements, omissions or work-related stress. But analyzing someone’s body language can also lead to incorrect conclusions when bias interferes.
Who are you thinking about?
Each of us retains memories about the gestures, tics and facial expressions of the people we love and those who have hurt us. These memories can impact how we assess the expressions of others. For example, if a friend who betrayed you has a tendency to chew their lower lip, when you meet someone who does the same thing, you may unconsciously ascribe the traits you associate with your ex-friend with the new person, without ever intending to.
There are also unconscious associations that we make when we meet a new person. Who did the person’s handshake remind you of? Who does their approach remind you of? Who do you know that plays with their hair in a similar way?
Do you know how to counter your unconscious bias?
When we have confidence in someone, we interpret their body language more positively and we minimize the importance of signals that can suggest exaggerations, things left unsaid or even lies. This phenomenon has a name: confidence bias. This is why a smooth talker can stand out during a job interview or gain the upper hand during a confrontation if they’ve gained your confidence beforehand.
Similarly, if we believe a person is being untruthful and we are looking for lies in a person’s speech, then our brain will pick out details to support our hypothesis. This is known as belief bias: we believe something and as a result we falsely interpret a person’s body language as suggesting the person is lying.
It’s so easy to believe…
Humans are naturally lazy. It’s easier to just believe what people say, rather than verifying their claims and checking facts. This is how gossip and rumors, among other things, get passed around as truth. We assume that what people are saying is true without asking questions. This is part of the reason why we are inclined to believe what is said in a job interview, and don’t pay much attention to the non-verbal cues that contradict the words being said. This is called truth bias.
What can be done about it?
The first thing to do is become aware of your own biases! Find out which biases undermine your judgment the most often, and identify the associations you make internally. Practice observing someone’s body language without passing judgment or interpreting what you see: simply observe. It’s harder than it sounds because we have a tendency to categorize people and behaviors, and to label them as a result.
Conclusion
The body language of a speaker can be affected by many things, including you (the observer’s) attitude. If you have a favorable prejudice towards someone, they will confirm that perception through their behavior, their body language and their way of presenting themselves. It’s known as the Pygmalion effect.
But if you have a negative prejudice towards a person, that person will also confirm your prejudice through their actions. It’s the Golem effect: the speaker demonstrates behavior that supports what we think of them, without even being aware of it.
If you’re suspicious, your suspicion will make the speaker nervous. You might then mistake their understandable anxiety for a sign that they are lying. This is called a false positive.
It’s best to start a conversation in a peaceful way, without judgment. By giving the speaker your undivided attention, they will be in the best position to provide you with good information, both verbally and non-verbally.
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