Advice for dating and interviewing


He called, and you agreed to get together to see if you would hit it off. After some small talk you started getting to know each other. You felt you were really making a connection and, by the end of your time together, you thought he felt the same way. After all, he did say those three little words you’d been longing to hear… “I’ll call you.”

But it’s been a week since you got together and you still haven’t heard from him. You’ve asked your colleagues: “Have you heard from him?” “Did he ask you anything about me?” but the answer is no.

You tell yourself he must be busy and if you just wait a bit longer, he’ll call. Or maybe he lost your phone number…

Face it – he’s just not that into you.

He’s Just Not That Into You is the title of a popular dating book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, but some of its advice can also apply to job-hunting.

And now that the second season of City TV’s The Bachelor Canada has started, we can actually see some of the similarities between dating and job interviewing.

If an employer is into you, he (and of course this applies to female interviewers as well) treats you with respect. He does what he says he will, including calling when he agreed to call, because he knows there’s a distinct possibility that he could lose you.

Here are some of the things that an employer who is into you is likely to do:

  • He starts the interview on time, or apologizes if it starts late. He recognizes that your time is valuable.
  • During the interview he asks you about yourself and lets you do most of the talking because he wants to know as much as possible about you.
  • He doesn’t criticize or belittle you, your education, or experience. You don’t feel like you’re on the defensive.
  • He doesn’t cut the interview short, but wants to spend as much time as possible with you.
  • He doesn’t allow interruptions. If the phone rings he lets it go to voice mail, and any alerts for emails or texts are ignored.
  • At the end of the interview, he tells you a specific time that he’ll call.
  • He calls your references to ask about you.
  • And the ultimate sign that the employer is into you: he calls when he said he would to offer you a job at the salary you want.

If an employer is not into you, he:

  • Starts the interview late without an apology.
  • Asks “who are you?”
  • Spends most of the time talking about himself, the job, or the company instead of trying to learn about you.
  • Doesn’t listen when you are talking.
  • Forgets your name during the interview.
  • Reads something unrelated to your interview, such as the agenda for an upcoming meeting.
  • Allows interruptions, takes phone calls, sends texts, or checks his smart phone.
  • Eats lunch without offering you any or otherwise acts as if he doesn’t care about your needs.
  • Ends the interview quickly.
  • Is vague about when or if he’ll call.

Of course, interviewing isn’t entirely like dating. There are times that an employer who really is into someone can’t offer them a job – for example, if the company has a massive downsizing between the time you were interviewed and the time the employer was supposed to call.

Furthermore, as the job seeker, you should do more than just wait for the employer to contact you. At least send a thank you note by the next day, then follow up if you haven’t heard by the date the interviewer promised to call.

However, if the interviewer hasn’t called when he said he would, don’t get your hopes up. Chances are he’s just not that into you.

But if he doesn’t respect you or treat you well, hopefully you’re not that into him either.

Tag Goulet is co-founder of and Academic Director of the International Business and Management College which offers business certificate courses at